To Be A Democrat

If you want to be a GOOD Democrat, you must have certain basic beliefs:

1. You have to believe the AIDS virus is spread by a lack of federal funding.
2. You have to believe that the same teacher who can't teach 4th graders how to read is somehow qualified to teach those same kids about sex.
3. You have to believe that guns in the hands of law-abiding Americans are more of a threat than U.S. nuclear weapons technology in the hands of the Chinese and the Muslims.
4. You have to believe that there was no art before Federal funding.
5. You have to believe that global temperatures are less affected by cyclical, documented changes in the earth's climate and more affected by yuppies driving SUVs.
6. You have to be against capital punishment (putting murderers to death) but support abortion (killing innocent unborn babies) on demand (federally funded of course.)
7. You have to believe that businesses create oppression and governments and unions create prosperity.
8. You have to believe that hunters don't care about nature but loony activists from Seattle do.
9. You have to believe that self-esteem is more important than actually doing something to earn it.
10. You have to believe the NRA is bad because it supports certain parts of the Constitution while the ACLU is good because it supports the destruction of certain parts of the Constitution.
11. You have to believe that taxes are too low but ATM fees are too high.
12. You have to believe that Margaret Sanger , the communist who created the PP abortion system for black babies, and Gloria Steinem are more important to American history than Thomas Jefferson or Thomas Edison.
13. You have to believe that standardized tests are racist but racial quotas/AA are not.
14. You have to believe that the only reason socialism hasn't worked anywhere it's been tried is because you ran out of other peoples money and the right people haven't been in charge.
15. You have to believe conservatives telling the truth belong in jail but liars and sex offenders in the White House are OK.
16. You have to believe that homosexual parades should be constitutionally protected and manger scenes at Christmas should be illegal.
17. You have to believe that illegal Democratic Party funding by the Chinese is somehow in the best interest of the U.S.
18. You have to believe that gasoline priced at $1.59 per gallon is too expensive but accept bottled spring water at $1.09 per quart as reasonable.
19. You have to believe the purpose of government is to take money from people who earned it and spend it on people who did not earn it.
20. You have to believe in Democracy but demand only liberal Democratic victories in elections.
21. You have to believe that people who disagree with you are stupid and backward while believing people who agree with you are "progressive" and "enlightened."
22. You have to believe that a "B" average economics major from Yale University with a MBA from Harvard Business School is too stupid to be President of the United States.
23. You have to believe that a "C" average history major from Harvard University, who then dropped out of Vanderbilt Law School and was a failure at Vanderbilt Divinity School, is brilliant and should be President of the United States.
24. You are proud to have Jesse Jackson, Al Sharpton, and Bill Clinton in the Democratic Party.
25. You agreed with France's position on the war in Iraq until combat victory was achieved within three weeks.
26. You have to believe that Hillary Clinton is really a lady.
27. You must believe that you can pick up a turd from the clean end without getting it on you.
Vote Democratic...It's easier than getting a job.
It was DEMOCRATS [the southern ones] that institutionalized slavery of the American Negro.
It was DEMOCRATS who commissioned medical professionals to proclaim that "excessive amounts of carbon in the bodies of Negroes" was the reason for their skin color and inferiority. (why do they still have a problem with the benign element Carbon)
It was DEMOCRATS that did not like the 1860 election of abolitionist REPUBLICAN Lincoln.
It was DEMOCRATS that seceded from the Union before he was even sworn in.
It was DEMOCRATS that did not like the outcome of that war so they set up a shadow government in many states, mainly the South, but many in the North too.
It was DEMOCRATS that formed their own army, the KKK. REPUBLICANS were hanged by the hundreds right alongside the Negroes, usually in the same tree. It was DEMOCRATS that set up Jim Crow laws in the South to further subjugate the Negroes.
It was DEMOCRAT President Wilson that conducted several private screening in the White House of the film "Birth of A Nation", the most savage racist product I have ever heard of.
It was also DEMOCRAT President Wilson that so admired the Progressive movement's Margret Sanger's eugenics research (number of black babies aborted far exceeds those of other demographics)
It was also DEMOCRAT President Wilson that re-segregated the military after it had been fully integrated by the Republicans in the 1870s.
It was DEMOCRATS that fawned all over Hitler, and his National Socialist Democrat Party and prevented the US from preparing for WW2.
It was DEMOCRATS that blocked three attempts during the Eisenhower Administration for comprehensive civil-rights legislation.
It was DEMOCRATS that blocked the doors to Negro school children in Topeka, Little Rock, Montgomery and elsewhere.
It was DEMOCRATS Bull Conner and George Wallace that loosed the fire hoses. It was REPUBLICAN Eisenhower that sent Federal troops to stop DEMOCRATS ONLY with the force of arms!
It is DEMOCRATS that encourage black voters with handouts a life of bare subsistence on welfare - the new slaves of the new slave owners .IT is DEMOCRATS that are creating RACISM and CLASS WARFARE between peoples of the United States.